It has been awhile since I have lasted posted just been going through a lot this last month and I needed time to figure it all out. I've been keeping pretty busy especially since summer is finally here and spending time with friends and family has really helped a lot. Well anyways, we shall start from the beginning and then we will go from there.
I have finally met somebody who has helped me in more ways than one to help get my life back on track. We met awhile ago through my sister because she use to hangout with that crowd a lot back then and we would say hi when we saw eachother but really never got the chance to get to really know eachother. She came into my life just at the right time because I was moving forward, but I seemed to just take a few steps back until her and I started randomly talking a few months ago on facebook. My life was slowly crashing right infront of me and at the same time she was going through almost the same situation. I just got out of a relationship and she was seperated from her husband which was no suprise because she has always dated girls just one of those things "you fall for the person not the gender" kind of thing. It happens and both of our previous relationships has been a prime example that people do fall for the person and not their gender.
It is weird to say but all of this felt like deja vu because her and I started talking on facebook then we exchanged numbers been talking everyday since then and music has been a huge common interest with us. Our love for music is what really started us going from just talking on facebook to randomly texting random bands throughout the day no matter the time. She listens to me when I had a shitty day and she tries to say anything to make me feel better and it usually helps. Our talks never get dull and I just keep learning more and more things about this girl that just keeps me wanting her more. When we hangout it is nothing but amazing and drama never near when we hangout. She is very mature and has a good head on her shoulders because she has been through so much thus far in her life. Her random texts automaticallly puts a smile on my face and I miss this feeling. I miss the feeling that I always use to get when my ex use to just text me randomness that would make me tingle inside because she always sent the best texts. As you can tell, I'm in a bit of a dilema.
Nothing can ever come easy, but this is just life. Her life is very chaotic right now because she is not divorced yet and she has a kid. It is way too much for me to handle especially when I'm not completely ok with the stuff going on in my life yet. This all just freaks me out and I'm at a lose on what I want, what i need, and what is best for me. I never can just think about what is best for me ever though because I always worry about the other person and it is just not us a kid is involved now too which makes it even harder. Also, i just am so affraid to let my walls down with anybody again especially right now. It has only been 4 months and I'm not fully healed yet. I need to be single right now to focus on myself to continue bettering myself without having to worry about anybodyelse right now. And I'm not fully over my ex either which makes me so much more confused with things.
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