I haven't written in awhile mainly because I haven't had the time to sit down and just write until now. Also, I feel more of a need to write when things have happened in my life where I need to vent or just talk about no matter the topic. Right now, there has been a lot going on that I feel like I should share. Some good and some bad, so here it is...
Lets start off with saying how much I appreciate and love my family and friends. Since this summer, I have obtained a good, stable foundation of close friends that have been there for me through some of my roughest moments when i needed somebody to lean on. A couple of people in mind, have been there no matter what state I have been in or how far away they may be. They are right there when i need them the most and I thank them for that. One person in particular, her and I have been through so much in the last couple of years even to the point we lost touch for a few months, but found ourselves right back to where we left off. Things happen for reasons, even if those reasons are never known but in the end it just matters we are back in eachothers lives. She has been there for the fun times, my most drunken moments, and when I thought I couldn't make it through. I made it through just like she kept telling me and I'm happier today because she never gave up on me. She is kind of a hardass, wouldn't give up on me but without her I wouldn't be where I am today and I love you for that so thank you.
This other person has become like a brother to me. It is really weird how things turn out. Him and I both have had the conversation about how funny it is that we really never thought we would end up being friends let alone bestfriends lol. It was a pretty shitty situation how we ended up talking, but I honestly wouldn't change anything. He has been there for me from day one even when we barely knew eachother we both just found it so easy to open up to eachother. I was hesitant to open up because I lost my trust in anybody that I knew, but the only way you get passed it all is by taking the bull by the horns and just letting that fear go. I'm not saying I don't have trust issues anymore because I still do, but I see every day myself getting better and letting my guard down with people. That's what you ahve to do because fear will just hold a person back and I'm continuing to move forward day by day nothing will stop me from doing that.
Anyways, this person has spent countless nights just sitting up talking to me. Yes, most of these have been drunken nights but he always knows the right things to say and now I need to be there for him. This last week has been pretty rough mostly because what he is going through has brought flashbacks of the emotional rollercoaster I was in months ago. I know completely what he is going through right now to the periods of thinking you can't make it through without them to thinking being in a drunken binge will be the only thing that will possibly take the pain away. Well, as much as I thought drinking was a good idea it lasted for a bit helping to numb the pain but in the morning things were never better and to top it pff now you have a hangover. You know what got me through was my family, friends, myself, and time. I can go and tell him everything he told me months ago, but honestly it takes time to get better. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. I don't know how many times I heard this, but it didn't mean anything until the day I woke up and knew everything was going to be ok. The day I decided I couldn't cry anymore, the day I told myself I wasn't going to be unhappy anymore, the day I decided to live again.
The advice I can give to him is to occupy your time spending time with your family and friends. To reconnect with old friends you lost touch with, fix the relationships that you may have lost, and to build new friendships. Spend time with your family because your family always knows how to make you smile. I know my family has and always will be a huge support system for me, I love them to the moon and back. Go out and enjoy yourself, but don't resort to drinking as an everyday fun activity because we all know that it isn't the best choice especially at this vulnerable state of mind. As hard as it may think life won't ever get better, it does and will. I promise on our friendship that life will get better and you will find happiness again. If you haven't already find your faith take up reading the bible, going to church, and praying. One huge improvement in my life is my reconnecting with God he is one person I never lost my trust in and with time everything will be better.
I love you guys, without you all I wouldn't be where I am today. I thank you all <3
